It's been a difficult few months. Since the sudden death of a young family member on Christmas Day, I've been secretly and silently reeling. I do not know how to cope with this immense loss. I had already stopped my daily exercises by the time we lost him, so I do not mean to blame my lack of action or motivation on him or his passing. I do not speak about my sorrow or confusion, mainly because I don't feel like I have much of a right to feel so. I wasn't very close with him. I go about my days as I always have... With some kind of secret within I am far too scared to release.
I keep telling myself to be strong and honor my little nephew, but most of my mind is clouded with unanswered questions and painful realizations. It is not often I allow myself to deeply delve into my thoughts of him, but I do think of him constantly.
I know I can not let myself fall into the habit of aimless wandering, clutching to pity and woe. I must take action. Enough is enough is enough.
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