Maybe it's the excitement of starting this journey, or perhaps the endorphin of exercise, but I am feeling GREAT. I got up to a late start today, but once I was awake, I was up and at 'em.
I am in terrible shape, but I am trying to build up my physical stamina with youtube fitness guru Cassey Ho, AKA Blogilates! You're supposed to do a sequence of her videos, but I struggle finishing one most of the time. I really felt guilty about this before, but I honestly was wheezing and shaking by the time ten minutes of her cardio videos were up. lol Today, I finished one of her videos and felt... normal, if not energized. I knew I could take more, so I decided more should be taken. I set up my RunKeeper app profile and set to the streets. I only ran for about a total of a minute and a half, if that. I did complete a little over a mile, though! It was painful, even though I was only walking. I know, though, that pain is temporary and that these results will be life-altering.
I used to be super-fit, as a competitive cheerleader in high school. I ran a 6-minute mile and could lift girls up in the air, both with a stunt group and as a single base. As a competitive cheerleader, I had no room for my eating disorder. So for the year and a half that I trained, I was completely and legitimately healthy, by the book. It was before and after the pep squad that I had trouble keeping food down.
As an adult, I always feared going back to that dark place of bulimia. I don't want to live the way I had then, but I most certainly never wanted to live the way I do now. Instead of binging and purging, in my adulthood, I've disregarded all qualms of self-control. It is time to find a happy, healthy medium. It is time to find myself again.
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